The closest I’ve ever gotten to a fantasy suite was watching commercials for Mount Airy Lodge in the Poconos as a kid.  Back then, the idea seemed impossibly glamorous – the choice of heart or champagne glass shaped hot tubs surrounded by a forest of plaster Corinthian(ish) columns.  But enough about a latchkey childhood spent under the soft glow of WPIX.   Today’s theme hotel suites let you do more than pretend you’re garnish for a French 75.  Taking inspiration from a wide range of sources, they promise a glimpse of fantasy life from Fashion Doll to Despot.

Shaken not Stirred

1. James Bond Suite: Hotel Seven – Paris, France
Whether it’s bedding the girlfriend of your nemesis or knocking back a vodka martini, “Suite 007″ promises the perfect backdrop for the international man of intrigue.  Designed by Agence Bastie for Hotel Seven, the suite uses retro lines and sleek styling to create a contemporary, masculine retreat.  As for living up to the fantasy, well, all of the Bond movies are at your disposal.  The Suite 007 is also equipped with a private Turkish steam shower, king-size bed, separate toilets, air conditioning, a large desk, mini-bar, electronic safe and bathrobes.

Through the Looking Glass

2. Suite Alice: Hotel Seven – Paris, France
Suite Alice” by Les Ailes Du Design takes its inspiration from the classic tale of Alice in Wonderland.  Colored ambient lighting, strange embedded objects and that films appear like magic give a “down the rabbit hole” vibe.  Also, a toilet built for two with a chess game in between the seats, although I’m not sure I remember that being in the book.  Suite Alice is also equipped with standard hotel amenities top quality king-size bed, mini-bar and a TV screen diffusing four different mood fragrances.

Ernie McCracken Sleeps Here

3. Kingpin Suite: Palms Hotel – Las Vegas, Nevada
The Kingpin Suite at the Palms -at $15,000 a night, this bowling-themed suite is certainly a pricey nod to what many consider a low-rent pastime.  Featuring two regulation-size lanes, complete with ball return and an automatic scoring system, your fantasy of living the action bowling lifestyle is about to be realized.  The 4,240-square-foot retro-style suite also has two bedrooms, three bathrooms, a full bar, a pool table and a theater-size projection TV.

All Dolled Up

3. Barbie Suite: The Palms – Las Vegas, Nevada
Designed by Jonathan Adler, the childhood-icon inspired Barbie Suite brings Barbie’s Dream House to life.  With a Pepto-bismol pink and black color scheme, Hollywood Regency feel and extensive Barbie decor, the suite would be fun for a wanna-be Barbie and her crew.  Best suited for a bachelorette party or girls weekend,  the overly feminine aesthetic will most likely emasculate any potential Ken.

American Graffiti Redux

4. Happy Days Suite: Wildwood Inn – Florence, Kentucky

The “Happy Days” Suite at the Wildwood Inn promises a “huge back-to-the-fifties fantasy trip for you and your really cool date!” Highlights include sleeping in a car (!), actually a queen-size bed nestled in a restored 59 Cadillac Convertible. There is also a working jukebox and 50′s style soda shop bar with built in hot tub, would a  “Sit on it” reference be inappropriate here? Probably.  “Heyyyyyyy!”

Neanderthal Nights

5. Kentucky Cave Suite: Wildwood Inn – Florence, Kentucky
The stalactite and stalagmite formations in the Kentucky Cave Suite create a cave-like atmosphere for the cave man or woman in you. This prehistoric hideaway allows you to enjoy all the excitement of spelunking without sacrificing the convenience of room service and cable tv.

Keep on Truckin’

7. The Truck Room: Fantasyland Hotel – Edmonton, Canada
Speeding along open freeways, never knowing where the next day’s haul will take you – the Truck Room at the Fantasyland Hotel pays homage to life on the road.  Spend the night in the back of your semi, knowing happiness is just a truck stop away. Additional whimsical touches include in room gas pump and traffic light chandeliers.